All I can compare it to is a chord
One of the piano ones that you think requires 11 fingers
With a bunch of notes (what are notes anyway) that
Wrap around you like something you can't explain
It doesn't keep you safe it
Makes you want to jump and sing and scream and cry
Run laughing through the proverbial meadow
But maybe the only reason you're running is to get closer to the chord
See if it sounds as good up close
As when you heard it all those years ago
From across the meadow.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday Morning
Saturday morning
Taste of last night still in my mouth
Last night's mascara smudged around my eyelids
Still dazed, I stumble
Down into the world
Outside echoes my mood
The one green spot looks as though it is about to be overtaken by the all-encompassing gray that is late January
And the gray and green
The scent of coffee, bitter, hovers in the air
Like the green that is slowly fading
The word "muster" comes to mind
And it, once so grand, so proud and brave and determined, seems tired and stale
It would have mustered, had it not already
Again it would have sallied forth
Had it not been tired out from a constant stiff upper lip
I would have mustered
Had I not already sallied forth
Not already been exhausted from that front, that stiff upper lip
Maybe I see a little green coming back from that tired tree
Maybe the gray might be receding
Maybe I can try to muster again
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Looking For Love?
I think that what people are looking for is love. Yeah, sure, you say, we knew that. I know you did, and people talk about it all the time. This so-called acceptance of something so basic, beautiful and important in our society can actually have an opposite effect. Oh, sure, love, you say. Whatever. Been there, done that.
But the thing is, hearing so much about love and wisdom and everything actually seems to make us MORE cynical. We think, love is all around, it's so magical, it's all going to be okay. And then we live in a war-torn, poverty-stricken world with hatred and cynicism, and it's all well and good to trust in love, but sometimes we lack evidence of goodness and love.
So we think of it as something great, but at the same time a little too good to be true. And the more we see idealized love stories, we feel that OUR love (or lack thereof) is inadequate--we can never be scripted Hollywood stars with perfect lighting, hair and artfully smudged mascara. We can only read and watch and listen... And sometimes we see perfect (or what we view as perfect, but that's another post) love in pop culture (in the Titanic theme) or in everyday life (our grandparents, or the mother and child we see on the street). (Parentheses will now stop.)
But all in all, we think of love as some far and distant god, or planet, or an unexplored region that we will go to, someday. I guess. But only sort of, because we're very busy, and sometimes we don't really have time or energy to devote to love, because we have jobs and lives that are above--or below, depending on how you look at it--the quest for true love and meaning and the wisdom that allegedly comes with it.
And in the meantime, it makes us uncomfortable. We worry that it will never happen to us, that we are unworthy anyway, that if and when it does happen it will be a distraction from all we've worked for. And that scares us, and so we put it off with big talk and cynicism and pretend we don't care. And hope that eventually not caring will make someone care about us, or make us care about love.
So what can we do? Trapped in a cynical society steeped in fairytale endings and the contradictory hope that we shouldn't care too much, but love and caring is the only thing that can save us? This contradiction is the problem that faces us, but unfortunately it is all around us all the time, and so loses its meaning. When magic and wisdom are all around us, they become the norm, and we fail to recognize them.
I guess all we can really do is try; try to care, try to recognize love when we see it, and cherish it for what it is: simple and good. And we can try to believe, that among all of the other problems that we have to solve, we can solve ourselves, or at least figure out how to figure out ourselves, which might be the actual reason we're here.
And I think that however clichéd it may seem, we have to remind ourselves that among all of our searches and travels and early morning dashes to the supermarket, it's true. We are really only looking for love.
But the thing is, hearing so much about love and wisdom and everything actually seems to make us MORE cynical. We think, love is all around, it's so magical, it's all going to be okay. And then we live in a war-torn, poverty-stricken world with hatred and cynicism, and it's all well and good to trust in love, but sometimes we lack evidence of goodness and love.
So we think of it as something great, but at the same time a little too good to be true. And the more we see idealized love stories, we feel that OUR love (or lack thereof) is inadequate--we can never be scripted Hollywood stars with perfect lighting, hair and artfully smudged mascara. We can only read and watch and listen... And sometimes we see perfect (or what we view as perfect, but that's another post) love in pop culture (in the Titanic theme) or in everyday life (our grandparents, or the mother and child we see on the street). (Parentheses will now stop.)
But all in all, we think of love as some far and distant god, or planet, or an unexplored region that we will go to, someday. I guess. But only sort of, because we're very busy, and sometimes we don't really have time or energy to devote to love, because we have jobs and lives that are above--or below, depending on how you look at it--the quest for true love and meaning and the wisdom that allegedly comes with it.
And in the meantime, it makes us uncomfortable. We worry that it will never happen to us, that we are unworthy anyway, that if and when it does happen it will be a distraction from all we've worked for. And that scares us, and so we put it off with big talk and cynicism and pretend we don't care. And hope that eventually not caring will make someone care about us, or make us care about love.
So what can we do? Trapped in a cynical society steeped in fairytale endings and the contradictory hope that we shouldn't care too much, but love and caring is the only thing that can save us? This contradiction is the problem that faces us, but unfortunately it is all around us all the time, and so loses its meaning. When magic and wisdom are all around us, they become the norm, and we fail to recognize them.
I guess all we can really do is try; try to care, try to recognize love when we see it, and cherish it for what it is: simple and good. And we can try to believe, that among all of the other problems that we have to solve, we can solve ourselves, or at least figure out how to figure out ourselves, which might be the actual reason we're here.
And I think that however clichéd it may seem, we have to remind ourselves that among all of our searches and travels and early morning dashes to the supermarket, it's true. We are really only looking for love.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Smile
You would always tell me
That you loved my smile
And
You could live on my smile alone
(I saved the letter so I could see that black and white of your love)
And you didn't understand that
You were the reason for that smile
And I know you were always the
Logical one
I was the dreamer with my smiling face in the clouds
(Even if the clouds were only your shoulder)
So
My logical love
What would you say
If I told you
You're still the reason?
Would you still want to live on my smile
Because
What are you going to live on
Maybe I'm not the only one who's trying to find someone to live on
(Please say yes please say yes yes yes please yes say yes)
Do
You
(I have to ask)
Still want to live on
My smile
Or can you live without it now?
That you loved my smile
And
You could live on my smile alone
(I saved the letter so I could see that black and white of your love)
And you didn't understand that
You were the reason for that smile
And I know you were always the
Logical one
I was the dreamer with my smiling face in the clouds
(Even if the clouds were only your shoulder)
So
My logical love
What would you say
If I told you
You're still the reason?
Would you still want to live on my smile
Because
What are you going to live on
Maybe I'm not the only one who's trying to find someone to live on
(Please say yes please say yes yes yes please yes say yes)
Do
You
(I have to ask)
Still want to live on
My smile
Or can you live without it now?
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