You're Beautiful, Inside and Out. Most of the Time.

With all of the people that I know, have known or are getting to know, I find myself grappling with the idea of beauty. I have always been taught, and believed (or wanted to believe) that everyone is beautiful. And I guess to an extent I do believe this, but it's sometimes hard to think of everyone being equal in terms of beauty. Dictionary.com's first definition for beauty is: the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
Well, great. That wasn't very helpful. You see, people can call you beautiful. They can say you're a good person, that you're attractive, that you are a valuable asset to the human race. 
But for most people, that isn't enough. Because there are those who never feel beautiful, those who go through life lacking proof. And there are those who have thinner legs, who have clearer skin, who have smoother hair, and who get more proof of their beauty. Because they fit the traditional image of beauty. But who makes that image? The media, and the celebrities who dictate who wears what, who buys what, and which people are judged as beautiful.
This is a skewed system. Everyone knows it. Little girls (and boys) grow up with these twisted messages. It's like Orwell's Animal Farm. "All people are beautiful, but some are more beautiful than others." 
This can border on hypocrisy. Children are raised to believe that everyone is beautiful, that no matter what you look like, you are good and perfect and attractive. And then it turns out that in fact this is not the case. The world is an unfair place, ideals, morals, and ideas of beauty are skewed, and the most perfect little girls and boys will turn to sometimes untoward methods in order to meet the accepted standards of beauty. 
The fact remains that while parents teach us beautiful, moral things, the world corrupts them. As soon as you are out of the house you learn that while the ideas are nice, they are not particularly realistic. And then the media sets in, and drastically changes your worldview. These rules learned in the cradle no longer apply.
And sure, you're beautiful, sweetie. You really are, and I love you. Don't change for anyone, okay? 
But sometimes you might want to change something about your appearance, because you meet someone who's just a little more beautiful. And someone might love them a little bit more.  

I was going to write an interesting critique. Then I was going to write a poem. Then I was going to write a thoughtful piece on current events.
Who am I kidding? I can't even motivate myself to shower. It feels like an inane, monotonous circle when all you can do is wake up, read, eat, frolic around, and go to sleep. And yes, there is joy. I am not depressed, I do not feel morbid. I am not even particularly thinking about all of the things in the world that actually COULD and SHOULD depress me. I simply can't muster the energy. And for an overachieving busy bee such as yours truly, this makes me feel lazy, stupid and just rather...bad.
Yes, once in a while it is good to be bored. It is good to have nothing to do. It is good to subsist on nothing but leftover Christmas cookies and the anonymous solace of sitting, snowed-in, with a laptop and a cup of tea.
Sometimes boredom is good, but sometimes it just makes you feel yucky and useless. That is the feeling I had. It was not nice.
I just took a shower. Hot water is a magical thing.

Immaculate, signing off. LOVE.

Faith.... ?

What is it like to have faith?
What is it like to think (or know) that there is someone or something out there that is protecting you and loving you and keeping you safe? That there is someone who has a great plan, who hears your prayers (if you pray), who knows your secrets, hopes and dreams?
What is it like to think that there is a greater being/thing/God/Goddess/whatever who thinks that a certain trait is bad? To believe that homosexuality is literally against God? To think that Caucasian people are greater than other races? Or that only those who do not have sex before they are married will go to Heaven when they die?
What is it like to think that your race is right, and that others are wrong? To believe that the religion you practice is the true way, and that all others are wrong, or bad, or against God? To think that those who do not practice your religion are confused, and that you must save them, or they will go to Hell when they die?
What is it like to live all of your life by a set of rules, to follow those rules as well as you can, because you know that you will be rewarded? To have the faith that whatever you do, if you die, God will protect you, and if you die, and have lived a good life, you will be happy when you die, and there is a place of peace waiting for you... To know that everything will turn out right in the end?
What is it like to have faith that having faith will reward you? To have faith that faith will see you through everything? That religion really will save you? That God is, in fact, your copilot?

Sometimes

Sometimes you just wanna go away
Start it over again and
Pretend nothing ever happened it
Was all in your head and
This is the beginning of your new dream
Wanna run through a meadow you've never seen before
Climb a mountain you don't know like the back of your hand
Sing a new song
Smile at someone else who doesn't know
Who you are
Cause you don't know that either
Trade those old boots and the slush and the gray sky for
Somewhere warm and bright and a new pair of shoes
Maybe it's time
For a little more

Does It Really

Does it really
Always feel like you're falling
And flying and
Dancing through the sky
In an upward downward spiral?
Is it always like
This wonderful crazy mess
We just follow and hope for the best because
It's all we know all we want what we need
Is it always a
Baby notice me love me want me
I need this now now now
Falling in love
Falling in life
Falling
Loving
Living
Does it really always feel like this?

'Tis the Season...

Okay, I'll admit to being a cynic. All this Christmas love and peace and stuff is almost as bad to me as the consumerism and materialism that has become the point of Christmas to so many people. (Hello? Whether or not you believe in him, there was a guy named Jesus in the story at one point.)
But today I came across a video made by Justin Bieber (please know who he is, whether you like him or not) for his new song "Pray." The official video is a montage of various disaster scenes, Justin himself doing good deeds with soldiers and underprivileged persons, and people in horrible conditions who were still somehow able to dance and sing and smile. All of this is accompanied by the song, definitely pop but sung by Justin (post voice-change, thank you) with an unusual depth of sincerity. Even if the whole thong was an elaborate market hoax (which is probable), it touched me a little. We all hear about the world's disasters every day. It can make us feel a little helpless. But...I guess sometimes the smallest bit of hope can make us feel better about our role in the world, and make us feel like we can accomplish something, and help someone. Whether it's assisting our neighbor down the street, or sending a $5 donation to a girl in Afghanistan, or just smiling at someone who's down on their luck, we can do something positive every day, and maybe soon those days will add up into something more promising for our world's future.
Everyone says this. I know. But as much as this kind of thing bothers me, and as much as it gets overused and oversaid, it's really true. And that makes me a little sad--there is so much I could do that I don't, and a little more cheery. Because at least I can do something. And that, in all of its cheesiness, bumps up my holiday spirit a little bit.
Immaculate, signing off. LOVE.

Yeah, I do wish I could cross your mind
And yeah, I think it's maybe time for
Something to take my mind off that vicious circle of
You
Me
And what was supposed be
Maybe I should go run through that damn meadow they're always talking about
Or jump
Free
Falling
Through that whatever that we call the universe
Stratosphere
That beautiful wonder cataclysm catastrophe celebration party thing
Or maybe I just need to sing a song
Not one of the ones about losing love
But one of the ones about
Finding life.

Immaculate, signing off. LOVE.

No, I Am Not Calling This The Second Post

That would be really lame. So... I thought I'd share a few of my worldviews.
Ready? Let's go!
Gay marriage: Does it really matter who you love, if there's an M or an F on the other side of forms you fill out, if your kids have two loving moms or dads? I don't think so. Is it a sin to fall in love? Okay, some people say so. But if love is what we live for, why would we curb something that only some people actually find? Where is the sense in that? Don't tell me it's in the Bible.

Global warming: Um, people? The ones who think this is an elaborate hoax or something we don't really need to worry about right now? Look around. Ten years ago I was having Easter egg hunts in the snow. Now I can't even ski in the snow. This is a problem. Something needs to be done, and it's a little more drastic than taking out the recycling and trying to eat more organic cherry tomatoes. I'm talking reform, and yes I'm talking government, not your neighborhood hippie convention. Whether you like it or not, the government has a lot of pull and a lot of power. Of course, whether you agree with what they do with that power is a totally different story and I'm sure I'll talk about it later. But if the government can get its act together (it WILL take persuasion from us), then hopefully we'll be able to say in fifty years that we were the ones who averted the crisis and made it possible for people to see the beginning of the next millennium from the comfort of their own homes.
Yeah. Okay, I'm done with that now.

Pandas: Pandas are cute. They...eat bamboo. Okay, I think this is getting old. I've had enough for now. I bet you have too.

Immaculate, signing off. LOVE.

THE FIRST POST

So... Hi. I'm...I'm a person whose blog you are reading. If you know me, great. Lucky you. If not, you might get to know me better by reading this.
I like to write, and draw, sometimes, and read, and sing, and dance, and act. I like to talk about myself. That's why I have a blog. So I can talk about myself, and all the amazing things, and not so amazing things, that happen to me as I do my living and stuff. This will be poetry, and prose, and rants in CAPITAL LETTERS WITH LOTS OF PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!!!!! And whatever else I feel like.
...I like ellipses. Also long walks on the beach. And Immaculate Laughter. Obviously, as that is my name. Yeah. That's all for now... I guess. I'm going to go out and learn some more about life. I obviously don't know much about it. (Hence the name of the blog, clever.)
Immaculate, signing off. LOVE.